I worked today, so just getting to the blog quite late. For those of you waiting with baited breath, I hope your desire for news and notes will be sated by my wordsmithery. That's not a real word, by the way. I just want it to be.
It was a Busy Day today, as my parents came up to the hospital. They asked me what Shelley might want to eat, and I told them what might be a good choice to get. When I said what to get, I was suggesting they get this as a means to share it, and eat together. I told them to get the vegetarian maza from Palm Palace (it's easy to get to from the freeway, but not the best Middle Eastern, by any means). They ate lunch at Palm Palace, and then brought the entire Maza tray to Shelley to eat by herself. Shel was overwhelmed, to say the least. We dined well tonight.
After I got to the hospital, Amelie woke up and we sat in the family lounge together, for a change of pace, and ate. Amelie was really into eating bread tonight, but nothing else. It's better than nothing else I figure. She at 3 loaves (they're about the size of a bottom of a McDonald's drink) of pita, and had her chipmunk cheeks packed on this picture.
Today is also National Perinatal Loss Remembrance Day. Many of you don't know that we have had three pregnancies, but only gave birth to 2 kids. In 2009, we became pregnant with a boy, and Shelley miscarried at 20 weeks (mid-April). We had thought that we had "lucked out" with having such a healthy Amelie after the 8 week early Anya and the miscarriage for Nathaniel, but.... welll....not so lucky, eh? Still waiting to see if that luck holds out actually...
Anyway, we miscarried, and Shelley asked me to bring a candle and a lighter to the hospital today, as part of the day is about lighting a candle to bring light and remembrance to the losses that were felt, but not forgotten. I brought them, but convinced her that it would be a TERRIBLE idea to light them in the hospital. She agreed with me after some 2nd and 3rd thoughts.
But it was still a good day for some reflection on the journey that we've taken with our kids over the last 6 years. I bought Shelley some foot rub lotion when I bought her the candles from Whole Foods, and hope to get to put that into use tomorrow after work.
I kinda want to build a sign like Wiley Coyote regarding Amelie. Someone asked me today how I "manage to get to work" with all this going on. The simple answer is I am a brilliant compartmentalizer when I need to be. When I am working, and not talking about what's going on, I don't think about it. It's on a shelf. When I get off work, it immediately clicks back into place....the real reality.
So I've been having a tough time with incredibly well intentioned people who want to let me know that they're there for me and be concerned, but at the same time I'm totally breaking all that compartmentalizing and going to get all messy and emotional at work. Not a good thing.
The good thing about teaching 8th graders in this scenario is that they are totally swirling in the vortex of adolescent egocentrism. This is the basic idea that they are the center of the universe, and everyone else is watching them. They very, very rarely ask about anything going on in my life, and just want to get stuff for themselves. I don't begrudge them this...I applaud it. It helps me get through my day, and focus on keeping my insurance. :)
Ok, it's 9:40, and I know I'm going to pop awake at 4:30a again tomorrow morning. That's fine when I'm sleeping in Howell, as I have an hour drive. However, I'm sleeping in Haggerty Sub in Belleville, and I have a 4.5 minute drive tomorrow morning. I think I might have scared Tom when I arrived at the middle school at 5:22am this morning, ready to go and all chipper. So I'm headed off to sleep!